Частушки на английском

[inok]

Вот наткнулся на чaстушки на английском. Понравилось
Поменял пару слов, но всё равно на 100% юмор не отражают.
Может кто может перевести лучше или предложить свои варианты

I was sleeping with my honey
Absolutely naked,
I have taken off my panties
Just to make a statement

Nick is crossing village slowly
Outside it is cold and snowy
But his dick is up and running
Just in case if something is coming

Girls have called me to the party
I decided not to come
That is because my ugly сlothing
And my dick is tiny one.

[inok]

My advice to future bride
Don't get married, silly
Morning comes, your boobes aside
Snatch is rumpled illy

[inok]

Edik is sitting at the door
Neither dancing singing nor
He is sitting deaf and dumb
Thinking only who to hump

[inok]

I have traveled to US looking for prosperity
But severe cold and hunger brought me to reality
I was hoping to get rich digging gold and silver
But I had to sell my cunt to survive a winter

[inok]

You were mine the other day,
But Mike is screwing you today.
He's got the cock as thick as trees
On famous Shishkin"s masterpiece

[inok]

Near underground station
Honey lights my fire
I`d like prolong love session
But my yoni`s tired.

[inok]

I am dragging to the bushes
this would-soon-be-legend.
Kinda shy of fucking here
Queen of Beauty Pageant...

[inok]

Girls had the fight at country hut
Over who has the hairest cunt.
Well, more hairs than the the most
Had the beaver of the host.

[inok]

Ну что, будут ещё частушки или переводы?

[inok]

Понятно, частушек не будет.