:grum::grum::grum::grum::grum:
Wolves Beware of Red Riding Hoodhttp://mnweekly.rian.ru/culture/20080410/55322213.html
10/04/2008
First, this was not the sort of column I had in mind when I took this job. When a man is told he will be writing weekly reviews of "strip clubs," the last thing his one-track mind can imagine is a catwalk full of dancing beefcake, sweaty pectorals, groins and deltoids, or what the heck have you.
Ladies, I have nothing to compare Krasnaya Shapochka with, because, frankly speaking, I have never set foot in a men's strip club before (or should it be called a women's strip club?). Due to some dirty double-dealing by some sly devochki, however, that is exactly where I found myself on Wed*nesday night.
God, I'm still queasy. Okay, let's get this over with, but revenge will be mine.
First, any woman who complains and moans about her lack of rights, cries for feminism, and all that hogwash has never paid a visit to Krasnaya Shapochka. Upon arrival to your table, a young male Adonis will place into your manhandling fingers a heavy "Crazy Menu," which offers every sordid delicacy this side of Bangkok.
And I quote from the menu - with big emphasis on the men and u - which will please even the strictest vegetarians:
1. Take a Barman or Waiter Home for the Whole Day: 25,000 rubles;
2. Private dance with Three Strippers: 5,000;
3. Shower with Artist, Barman or Waiter: 3,000;
Anybody out there who would like to introduce some employee rights back into the workplace, here is a great option: Take the Manager Home for Whole Day: 45,000.
The manager on duty admitted to us that some men have been whisked away by wealthy lady aristocrats for months at a time, probably going around European hotel lobbies on all fours with 24-carat chains around their muscular necks.
As I will discuss in next week's "normal" column, there is a certain protocol - at least in the traditional men's clubs - that says men should not approach the stage or over-fondle the expensive merchandise. Well, the oppressed women folk tossed out the rule book, guys, and I would not want to be the one to bring it back.
It is a little known fact that women behave more aggressively when watching the male form gyrating than the men do when gazing upon the female form gyrating. Men tend to resemble dying philosophers when gazing upon the mysterious opposite sex, while the women do everything short of storming the stage. I really have no idea why this is so, since the male body is generally revolting.
At Krasnaya Shapochka, the heavily muscled dancers invite the lady members of the audience on stage to engage in some role play straight out of the depths of their Freudian fantasies. One girl got pushed on a rope swing by a hulking stud dressed up like one of the Three Musketeers. Then he drop*ped the giggling girl to the ground (the performers, by the way, are not totally nude on stage), indulging her with kisses and caresses. Then, for theatrical effect, he stood up and thrust a plastic sword between his arm and chest, ending a pretty hot 5-minute fling. This brings up an important difference between Russian and Western strip clubs, as far as I can tell: The former tend to engage in far more artistry, dance and theatrical portrayals, which is a nice change from a straight strip tease.
The dancers and staff were very accommodating to the females in the crowd, and that is not a wisecrack. Women will not feel uncomfortable here, and the management seems to run a clean ship.
Needless to say, this would be the perfect place for a bachelorette party; more beds than couches.
Entrance fee is meant to keep out husbands and boyfriends: 3,500 rubles for the boys, while the ladies get in for 500 rubles. On Mon*days, ladies pay 1,000 rubles, which covers their entrance fee and all the drinks they can muster.
where: Krasnaya Shapochka 10, Tverskaya Ul. (enter on Glinishchevsky Per.) 933-7573 Pushkinskaya Metro
By Bentley Summers
Если больной очень хочет жить, врачи бессильны. [c]
Здоровье - это когда у вас каждый день болит в другом месте [c]
А может химик имел в виду доступных девушек "с того света"....высшего?
Т.е они, эти девушки, уже не на этом свете, а на том (умерли то есть).
Тогда всё встаёт на свои места. Во-первых они многочисленны, если знаешь места. Во-вторых они доступны, никогда не говорят "нет", и не требуют походов в рестораны/кино/музэи.
Кроме того, теперь понятно почему обычные девушки дают 100 очков девушкам с того света. Девушки с того света холодные, фригидные и даже не имитируют оргазм.
цирк с конями
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