Про меня не надо. Я серьезно
Про меня не надо. Я серьезно
Нормальные мужские эмоции в США - уголовно наказуемы. (c) Peterburger.
гротеск - это вот. вот это настоящий талант (обо мне, кстати)
https://forum.russianamerica.com/f/s...l=1#post316946
Executive order: Trump Bans All Bidets
(White House. Oval Office. Donald Trump sits at his desk with a stack of documents. Next to him, a nervous-looking advisor in glasses. Journalists’ cameras are ready for the press conference.)
Trump (confidently, looking into the camera):
Ladies and gentlemen, great Americans! Today, I am fixing one of the biggest disasters in our nation’s history. (grabs pen)
Do you know what’s happening? They want to spray you with water! It’s disgusting. And I said: “Enough!”
Advisor (whispering, nervous):
Mr. President, that’s not exactly—
Trump (interrupts):
I’ve spoken to thousands of people—great people, smart people. They hate bidets! Nobody wants a surprise splash down there—nobody! I know. I asked. I said, “Do you like it?” and they said, “No, Trump! We love toilet paper!”
America has always used paper. George Washington used paper! Abraham Lincoln used paper! Even the great Ronald Reagan—only paper!
(Trump lifts an executive order with bold letters: “Executive Order: Ban All Bidets”)
Trump (dramatically):
I am officially banning bidets and bringing back toilet paper! The best paper! Made in America, from the best trees!
(Press clicks cameras. Trump signs the order and proudly holds it up.)
Journalist (from the crowd):
But sir, bidets save paper. They’re better for the environment—
Trump’s expression soured. He pointed a finger. “Look, folks, I love the environment. Nobody loves the environment more than me! But we have to do it the right way—the American way. Trees? We’ve got plenty! Water? We need to save it for golf courses! Think about that!”
The room erupted into applause from his supporters. The advisor let out a quiet, defeated sigh, rubbing his temples as if warding off a headache. Meanwhile, in the world of finance, stocks for toilet paper companies began to skyrocket.
The End.
On a separate note: Have you ever had a paper straw fall apart in your mouth?
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Привет Юрча,
как дела? как там твои мальчики?
Ханя идеальная женщина (ц)
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