Big People Words

[Krakadil]

A group of kindergartners were trying very hard to become accustomed to the
first grade. The biggest hurdle they faced was that the teacher insisted on
NO baby talk!

"You need to use 'Big People' words," she was always reminding them.

She asked Chris what he had done over the weekend. "I went to visit my
Nana." "No, you went to visit your GRANDMOTHER. Use 'Big People' words!"

She then asked Mitchell what he had done. "I took a ride on a
choo-choo." She said "No, you took a ride on a TRAIN. You must remember to
use 'Big People' words."

She then asked little Alec what he had done. "I read a book," he
replied. "That's WONDERFUL!" the teacher said. "What book did you read?"

[I love this]

Alec thought real hard about it, then puffed out his chest with great
pride, and said, "Winnie the SHIT."

[Krakadil]

A 6 year old and a 4 year old are upstairs in their bedroom. "you
know what?" says the 6 year old. "I think it's about time we started
cussing." The 4 year old nods his head in approval. The 6 year old
continues, "When we go downstairs for breakfast, I'm gonna say
something with 'hell' and you say something with 'ass'. The 4 year
old agrees with enthusiasm.

When their mother walks into the kitchen and asks the 6 year old
what he wants for breakfast, he replies, "Aw, hell, Mom, I guess I'll have
some Cheerios." WHACK! He flies out of his chair, tumbles across the

kitchen floor, gets up, and runs upstairs crying his eyes out, with
his mother in hot pursuit, slapping his rear with every step. His
mom locks him in his room and shouts, "You can just stay there until
I let you out!"

She then comes back downstairs, looks at the 4 year old and asks with
a stern voice, "And what do YOU want for breakfast, young man?"

"I don't know," he blubbers, "but you can bet your fat ass it
won't be Cheerios."