Áðþíåòêî
10-27-2011, 07:59 AM
An unidentified-for-his-own-sake 21-year-old man spent nine hours trapped in a bucket-style kiddie swing at a playground in Vallejo, California. Nine hours!
You know, my kid preferred the baby swings until he was…oh, probably a good year or two too old for them, easily. It was a hard sell to get him to try the big-kid swings, what with the possibility of falling off and all, but I’m proud to say I got him to break the bucket swing habit long before there was any danger of GETTING STUCK IN IT FOR NINE HOURS. Clearly, I am a wonderful parent.
So back to THIS GUY. He bet his friends $100 that he could TOO fit into that baby swing, just WATCH him, because it’s ON, amigos. No details on how this particular dare came up in conversation, but I guess we can assume that 1) hanging upside-down from the monkey bars was deemed unimpressive, and 2) ALSO ALCOHOL, PROBABLY.
After lubing his legs up with laundry detergent, because…okay, I guess they had laundry detergent, and I guess I could probably Google some other working theories (drugs) about WHY they had laundry detergent (drugs drugs) but maybe they went grocery shopping and didn’t want to waste the nice bottle of extra virgin olive oil they just bought and went with the detergent instead.
ANYWAY, the slicked-up fool managed to get himself fully into the fool swing. His victory was short-lived, however, because he was unable to get himself out. His legs swelled up from the pressure of the tiny leg holes and wedged him in. Maybe his friends could help? Oh, possibly, but too bad: They totally up and left him there, presumably without paying him the hundred dollahs, either.
NINE HOURS LATER, at 6 am, a park groundskeeper arrived to start his shift. He discovered Mr. Bad Idea Jeans screaming his head off, still wedged hopelessly in the swing.
Firefighters arrived and decided it was safer to simply cut the chains of the swing and transport the guy to the hospital…still in the swing.
It's the craziest thing, doctor! I was just walking around the playground covered in laundry detergent and accidentally fell into the swing. I SWEAR.
The man was successfully freed from the baby swing and treated for non-life-threatening injuries to his legs. No word on whether his friends ever paid him the $100, though for the record, a replacement infant playground swing runs closer to $150, jackass.
You know, my kid preferred the baby swings until he was…oh, probably a good year or two too old for them, easily. It was a hard sell to get him to try the big-kid swings, what with the possibility of falling off and all, but I’m proud to say I got him to break the bucket swing habit long before there was any danger of GETTING STUCK IN IT FOR NINE HOURS. Clearly, I am a wonderful parent.
So back to THIS GUY. He bet his friends $100 that he could TOO fit into that baby swing, just WATCH him, because it’s ON, amigos. No details on how this particular dare came up in conversation, but I guess we can assume that 1) hanging upside-down from the monkey bars was deemed unimpressive, and 2) ALSO ALCOHOL, PROBABLY.
After lubing his legs up with laundry detergent, because…okay, I guess they had laundry detergent, and I guess I could probably Google some other working theories (drugs) about WHY they had laundry detergent (drugs drugs) but maybe they went grocery shopping and didn’t want to waste the nice bottle of extra virgin olive oil they just bought and went with the detergent instead.
ANYWAY, the slicked-up fool managed to get himself fully into the fool swing. His victory was short-lived, however, because he was unable to get himself out. His legs swelled up from the pressure of the tiny leg holes and wedged him in. Maybe his friends could help? Oh, possibly, but too bad: They totally up and left him there, presumably without paying him the hundred dollahs, either.
NINE HOURS LATER, at 6 am, a park groundskeeper arrived to start his shift. He discovered Mr. Bad Idea Jeans screaming his head off, still wedged hopelessly in the swing.
Firefighters arrived and decided it was safer to simply cut the chains of the swing and transport the guy to the hospital…still in the swing.
It's the craziest thing, doctor! I was just walking around the playground covered in laundry detergent and accidentally fell into the swing. I SWEAR.
The man was successfully freed from the baby swing and treated for non-life-threatening injuries to his legs. No word on whether his friends ever paid him the $100, though for the record, a replacement infant playground swing runs closer to $150, jackass.