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Krakadil
07-01-2004, 11:51 AM
It would seem that something which means poverty, disorder and violence
every single day should be avoided entirely, but the desire to beget
children is a natural urge. ~Phyllis Diller
It kills you to see them grow up. But I guess it would kill you quicker if
they didn't. ~Barbara Kingsolver
Children are a great comfort in your old age - and they help you reach it
faster, too. ~Lionel Kauffman
The quickest way for a parent to get a child's attention is to sit down and
look comfortable. ~Lane Olinghouse
Now the thing about having a baby - and I can't be the first person to have
noticed this - is that thereafter you have it. ~Jean Kerr
If nature had arranged that husbands and wives should have children
alternatively, there would never be more than three in a family. ~Lawrence
Housman
Labor Day is a glorious holiday because your child will be going back to
school the next day. It would have been called Independence Day, but that
name was already taken. ~Bill Dodds
Insanity is hereditary - you get it from your kids. ~Sam Levenson
Getting down on all fours and imitating a rhinoceros stops babies from
crying. (Put an empty cigarette pack on your nose for a horn and make loud
"snort" noises.) I don't know why parents don't do this more often. Usually
it makes the kid laugh. Sometimes it sends him into shock. Either way it
quiets him down. If you're a parent, acting like a rhino has another
advantage. Keep it up until the kid is a teenager and he definitely won't
have his friends hanging around your house all the time. ~P.J. O'Rourke
Sweater, n.: garment worn by child when its mother is feeling chilly.
~Ambrose Bierce
All women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy. No man does.
That's his. ~Oscar Wilde, The Importance of Being Earnest, 1895
If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands? ~Milton
Berle
Mothers are fonder than fathers of their children because they are more
certain they are their own. ~Aristotle